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I know I have a lot to learn, as a writer. I know that meeting other writers is the best way to learn. One thing I like about writing is the solitude. I'm sure that once I get there I will relax and everything will be fine.
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I watched the Hillary Clinton and Barrack Obama debate the other night in Philly. It was actually a pretty good debate. Both candidates scare the shit out of me though.
Hillary is a flat out liar. Everything that comes out of her mouth is either a total lie or the truth is stretched really thin. This woman has not had an original thought in a decade. Has anyone noticed that her accent changes all the time?
Barrack Obama scares me because he has some strange views about Middle America. No matter how he tried to back track out of that statement it doesn't work. My view on his explanation is this: if he mangles his speeches that he practices over and over again and he mangles the speeches that his people give him to practice over and over again, how can you trust how he will act under pressure if he becomes president.
Now for the aftermath of the debate. I am so sick of these fucking talk heads that call themselves journalists. Come on now, if Charles Gibson and George Stephanopoulos had asked weak and easy questions they would have been hammered for being too weak and easy on the candidates. But since they asked hard questions they were hammered for that. When are people going to stop listening to journalists. They are too opinionated in their reporting of the news to be fair and balanced.
Last night after practicing softball until 9 at night, my lady and I decided to just rent a couple movies and watch them at home. Well we got two of them: "30 Days of Night" and "Beowolf."
We decided, well actually I decided because I knew she would be asleep about 10 minutes into it, to watch "30 Days of Night" first. This was a very good choice. So much so, I thought I would share my opinion about it.
It's about a town in Alaska named Barrow that every year has one solid month of nothing but darkness. Well this particular month, after the majority of people headed out of the town for the relative safety of sunshine, a cluster of Vampires decides to strike this town. I mean come on, if I was a Vampire this would be the perfect place for me to hit too. I would have a solid month of not worrying about sleeping in that damn coffin to avoid that pesky sun.
First my impression of the Vampires: I have to say that these were, by far, the most well done and "realistic" Vampires that have ever been created on television. The language they spoke in was not English (contrary to most Hollywood movies). The way they moved was different; they had a different kind of fluidity to their movements. Their faces were different. And the head Vampire was cool as shit. He did not look like Brad Pitt. He looked like an old school teacher, but there was just something about him that made me say WOW.
Second, my impression of the violence: As it is with any Vampire movie there is going to be lots of blood. Well this one did not disappoint. But the blood and violence was very realistic. The humans had to chop off the heads of the Vampires to actually kill them. They had an axe that performed this dirty deed. In other movies you would see the axe just slice through them like a chainsaw through hot butter. Well anyone who has ever used an axe would know this as totally inaccurate. In this movie they actually had to chop three or four times to get the heads off. I know this is being a little too picky but it was actually good to see realistic violence - as sick and twisted as that sounds.
Third, the actors and actresses: This I really liked. As everyone knows with Hollywood (especially me because I live there), a prerequisite for movies is you have to look like Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie to be cast in a movie. Well as we know in real life, there are not many people that look like that. There definitely would not be people that looked like that in a freaking -10 degree Barrow, Alaska. So to be as close to accurate as a movie about Vampires can be, they actually cast ugly Paul Bunyan looking men and women in this movie - except for Josh Hartnell being the sheriff. I just can't get past his whole O.C. look he has, so naturally I can't see him being a sheriff in a small Alaskan town.
Fourth, the story/plot: This was very well done too. The actions and reactions of the humans and their peril was accurate. They actually acted the way we would all act - pissed off that there was no freaking sun and especially pissed off and naturally frightened because they were being chased by very vicious Vampires. The acting was so well done that it actually drug me in with them and had me moving my legs when they ran and wrinkling my face when they were being eaten. That, to me is the sign of a very good movie.
So all in all - I would recommend that you rent this movie. It is well worth it. Granted I am not a movie reviewer like the talking bow-ties on television. But if anyone actually does like I do with their reviews - if they say it's good then I stay away - if they say it's bad then I run and get it - then take my word for it and go rent this one.
I finally made the trek to a Sushi restaurant in Lakewood the other night; my first time was a very memorable experience, to say the least. A couple friends of mine talked me into it despite my disdain for any sort of raw food. After the night came to a close; I was kind of glad they did. It gave me some material to write about.
First, we pull into the diminutive parking lot of a building the size of a country bank. No sooner do we step out of the car when the familiar aroma of pot is wafting to our noses. There's a group of guys standing right outside the door to the restaurant, smoking weed. Man I love SoCal. This is not the first time I've experienced such bold smoking of the love weed. For example, one time I was walking on Pine Avenue in Long Beach and a group of guys were smoking it while they were walking down the street.
After walking through the cloud of sweet smoke, we get inside to see a long and disorganized line of hungry looking people. The reason I say disorganized is nobody knew when and how they were going to get seated. Nobody was checking us in and asking how many and how long the wait was. We were all just standing in a broken line - confused and hungry.
Every time the door opened, the pungent odor of Mary Jane came in and stood in line with us. It caused everybody in the front part of the restaurant to turn around and look at Jayson and his gang(me and my people) every time. I guess they thought we were somehow toking up in the line.
Finally thirty minutes after we got there, we get seated. It took us another twenty minutes to even get a server to come over to our table. This skinny Asian woman with long, stringy black hair and big ears poking out clumsily approaches our table. She asks what we would like to drink; in unison we say...water...water...water...sprite.
Another fifteen minutes later, she comes back with two waters, sets them down, then slaps her forehead and asks me, "I so sorry, what you order again?"
"Ummmm....Sprite?" I retell her in a confused tone. Then she walks away again, without even asking what we would like to eat. See my friend Joe and my girlfriend have filled out their Sushi cards for the all-you-can-eat but she's failed to take the cards from them yet.
Another fifteen minutes goes by and she comes back with - just water...still no sprite for me. But on a positive note, she did finally take the all you can eat Sushi orders. Of course she didn’t take my order or Nicole’s order.
Now for the least favorite part- the bill, this was made worse by the fact that the service was so bad. Twenty minutes later we finally pleaded with a passing waiter to bring us our bill. We get it and they’ve charged us $21.95 for Joes’ all you can eat sushi…$12.99 for my chicken and beef teriyaki (I got greedy and ordered a mix) and $8.95 for Nicole’s chicken teriyaki. They missed Sulma’s all you can eat sushi – oh sweet vindication.
Still Nicole was upset that her soup was never delivered to her. So she told our bimbo waitress that she wanted a discount. The bimbo reluctantly agrees and storms off to remove a dollar from the bill. Ten minutes later the bill comes back for $47.50…on one check. So Nicole decides to put it on her card and I would give her cash when we got back to mi casa. So the bimbo takes her card and the bill up to the counter to run it. Finally another fifteen minutes later she brings it back for Nicole to sign…$4.75!!! The bimbo finally did something right; she missed a digit and we were only charged $4.75. Isn’t Karma a bitch?
Normally, I would be the first one to take it back to them to fix it. This was the exception; the service was terrible; the ambiance was terrible and the food was terrible. So Nicole signed the check and we got up and left that place in the dust. So that’s my little story of my first sushi experience.
I watched the devastation in the South yesterday, from the tornados. It hit home for me, literally. That's where I grew up - in Nashville Tennesse. I almost feel guilty that I'm living out here in beautiful SoCal now. I woke up yesterday and it was 60 degrees and the sun was blaring. I turn the television on and see people's homes flattened and I have text messages from friends of mine asking if my family is okay back home. Luckily, the tornados went a little North of them.
I do remember living in that. We had one in '98 where the tornado went right through downtown Nashville. I remember one time, I woke up and pieces of somebody's house was in my front yard from an overnight tornado. Now I live out here without worrying about Mother Nature - she sure can be a bitch sometimes.
I still have no idea how my girlfriend and I have not been caught yet. See I work as an outside healthcare consultant and I currently work at a very huge and very popular hospital. Well I started here in March of last year and I met this beautiful, firecracker of a Latina woman. We started dating in May and we've been together ever since. Still, most people don't know...only her close friends. The funny thing is we ride together every damn day and nobody has seen us yet.
This morning she was getting out of the car when a lady that works in the same office drove by...we're not sure if she saw us or not. I guess, I am waiting for the other shoe to drop and we get busted. Not sure if it's even a bad thing anyway. We don't see each other at work and it doesn't interfere anyway. Well more to come.
Less than two weeks now before Spring Training....my time of year...BASEBALL SEASON. Go Phillies, and go Angels.
This weekend, I watched two absolutely terrible movies. The worse movies I've ever seen and I enjoy watching movies of all genres. The one thing that both of these movies had in common - Dane Cook.
This comedian needs to stick with what pays his bills, and it is not acting. The first one I had the misfortune of watching ' Good Luck Chuck' was dreadful. It also had Jessica Alba in it and she was a square peg in a round hole. She truly seemed to be repulsed by Dane Cook and his acting. I wonder if she's still kicking herself in her beautiful ass for doing that trainwreck. Dane Cooks acting reminded me of a mental patient on speed. This movie also had the most disgusting fat woman I've ever seen on it. Her fat had fat. While I was sitting there vomiting up my food that I hoped was already digested; I wondered to myself if that movie made the fat woman decide to lose weight. How embarrassing being put in a movie due to your obesity and they use it to poke fun at you. That should be a sign for that woman.
The other movie of Dane's that I had the misfortune of watching was 'Employee of the Month.' Oh my God, what the hell were these people thinking? Not only do they put Dane Cook and his crack-head acting in it, they also have the bright idea of putting Jessica Simpson and Andy Dick in it.
It was truly the blind leading the blind. The only way I would knowingly watch a movie with Jessica Simpson in it is if she was nude and not talking. The only way I would knowingly watch a movie with Andy Dick in it is if he was being slowly tortured, which is what happened to me as I watched this monstrosity.
Dane- it's time to go back to stand up comedy and stick with stand up. You are no Robin Williams. Please bro, fire your agent.
The playoffs took place for my softball league tonight. We went in as favorites and left as pissed off malcontents. We lost in the first round 16-9; I guess you can call it an upset. We should have won. The only person that played worth a damn was me. My stat lines was 3 for 3 with a double, triple and a homerun. I knocked in 5 of our 9 runs.
Still, I was proud of our effort. There would have been a time I would have been running around all pissed off, yelling at anyone who will listen and cussing anyone who wouldn't. I admit I started out a little upset when we committed an error in the first that brought in 3 runs. But after that, I realized that this is a fun game and we are out there for the comraderie.
All in all, it was a fun season and I made some friends here in SoCal. I got to show everyone that a big white guy can run fast. I look forward to next season.
Okay I need help. I'm good at writing but suck with the after. I have a short story entitled "My First Kiss." I ran it through an editor friend of mine and she said it was excellent and ready for submission. But I have no idea where to look or what to look for. I know there are many people on here that have been through this. So I am looking for a little bit of advice.
I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.
Thank goodness for my XBox 360 and my computer because watching television is too painful. I can't stomach turning on the national news like Fox, MSNBC or CNN. All they talk about are Barrack Obama or Hillary Clinton. I'm too smart for politics; I know ALL politicians lie, cheat, maim and murder. But yet all media outlets constantly talk up these gangsters in three-piece suits with the jackal smiles and paid entourages. If you look hard enough while watching any of these soulless morons, you can see the strings attached to their shoulders and head.
I long for the day where these 24 hour media station channels and newspapers become obsolete. I long for the day when the viewing public holds them accountable for their malicious lies and stops watching them. We don't need them anymore- we record our own news in blogs and YouTube. Why waste precious moments of our life watching these soulless mouthpieces drone on and on.
I long for the day when ALL people realize that what is reported in the news is not true. I'm sick of watching Greta Van Susteren report on the disappearance of a blonde-haired blue eyed Natalie Holloway in Aruba while they're people dying in this country everyday because of a street corner or a wall with graffiti on it. Everytime I attempt to watch one of these idiots spew their fallacies, my head starts to hurt.
Me being a sports lover, my intended destination on the remote has been ESPN. Well not anymore- it's been ruined by the same thing as the talking armpits that invade FOX, MSNBC and CNN. The only thing these idiots can talk about for the boring Super Bowl coming up is how this person said this person was a dirty player and this one says I'm not a dirty player, he's a dirty player and why would they call me a dirty player because they're dirty players and we are all dirty players. I threw a shoehorn at the television when Sean Salisbury started talking- I'm glad I didn't have anything bigger, otherwise I would have to buy another t.v.
Such is life as a writer. When you exercise your brain as we writers do; you become smarter and you are able to sift through the bullshit and realize that the news has become nothing but reality television with actors that have beautiful teeth and $600 hair cuts.
I have edited (and re-edited) the first chapter to my book titled "The Sitcom That is My Life". The first chapter is titled "Speargate". I am going to pass it around to all who would be interested or even slightly interested. Tell me what you think with brutal honesty--I'm a big boy I can take it I promise.
This book is more a side project of mine but it's one that I really enjoy. I want to see this finished before I truly devote my time to my fiction novel. I have got great feedback from writing.com when I posted this and a few other chapters; that made me want to focus on finishing this even more. So my goal is to have at least one chapter written and edited (typically 3 edits) each month. That will have me finished with it by the end of the year.
As I write I will be advertising it to A. get as much feedback as possible--positive and negative and B. to get a lot of word of mouth circulated.
I am working on a novel, it's more like an essay piece. It consists of several chapters that are really events from my life I have chosen to share. They will be written using my unique brand of humor. I have posted a lot of work on writing.com but I want to get it out to a bigger audience.
I am currently editing another chapter and I will be posting one chapter at a time for people to read and review. Follow along too as I go through the process of writing, finding an editor, a publisher and an audience. Writing is hard work, but I love it and I want to let people in on the writing journey.
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